I love you. I would look at you and you would fill my eyes. I could see nothing else. I would breathe you in and my mind would spin and I would be drunk off you and I'd be smiling. Holding you close to me was holding the world close to me. You were my world and not having you drove me insane. You were a drug. When you were there, all pain was gone and all was alright. Too long with you and I couldn't handle it. But then, without you, I went insane and thought about you all the time.
I tried giving you up at first but you didn't give me up, and of course I gave in. Then that first night would happen over and over again. I should've taken you that first night... but I know that it would've only been a moment, so intense that the consequence would've burned us both.
So then the second time I tried to give you up, I went insane not speaking to you. A few hours without speaking to you and it felt like I hadn't spoken to you in days. So I tried to tell you it had to stop, it had to stop, it had to stop... I had a chance to tell you the last day I saw you... but when I saw you, everything was alright. There was no problem... life was euphoric. The sun kept shining and things would be okay.
Then, of course, as the day went on that sunshine faded and I was alone again. Insane again. Finally you told me what I had been trying to tell you for the eternity of two weeks.
It had to stop.
I told you to keep my things, not because I didn't want to deal with seeing you again, but because it was easier for me knowing that part of me was with you.
I still love you, and I know you still love me. When I saw you again, I knew it to be true.
You were just smarter than me. You were just stronger than me.
I can never forget you, only bury the pain with time until it's numbed enough for me to truly move on. And I'm trying so hard. It's been over a year and I'm trying so hard.
I love you.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment